On a personal level, empowerment is Pluto's goal. Because wounded self perception is one of the most destructive, self-sabotaging, dis-empowering thought patterns anyone can have. It doesn’t just destroy your own life, career and happiness, it also negatively impacts those around you, especially those who love and care about you. Like ripples, the effects of your own low self-esteem are broad and far-reaching into the lives of others
For example …The root of narcissism is actually overcompensation for low self-image. Low self esteem is also the underlying motivation for under-achievers. It prevents your talents and innate abilities from benefiting the world. The majority of relationship failures stem from believing that we are not lovable. For example, people-pleasers act to earn love because you fear you aren’t lovable just as you are. So, no one gets to experience the real you, and the 'fase you' attracts people who aren't truly compatible--such as narcissists
Here are 2 extreme real-life examples of how the low self-esteem of wonderful people can destroy not only their lives, but the lives and happiness of those who love them …
KS is an impressive man in every regard. Tall, attractive, masculine, and fit. His IQ is in the top 1%. He possesses an eidetic memory, impressive athletic strength, is highly accomplished, an over-achiever, articulate, and holds himself to high standards and ethics. He’s the type of man every woman wants to love. And he has been deeply loved
But, KS has been hurt and disappointed in every romantic relationship, due to deep-seated low self esteem. Deep down, he doesn’t believe he is lovable or deserving of love
The result is a lifelong pattern of disconnect from himself and others by trying to be perfect, emotionally detached, never asking for what he wants, and choosing impersonal interactions. Afraid to ask for what he wants, he waits for his partners to take the initiative. Feeling undeserving, he holds back from deep satisfying emotional commitment, not fully loving his partner or convinced that his partner loves him
Sadly, no one gets their needs met in a relationship with this man. His frustrated, exasperated partners end up cheating on him or walking away. Consequently his self esteem drops ever lower
DB is in his mid-40’s. He’s a musician, articulate and intelligent, is well-read, and has a passion for nutrition and holistic lifestyle. Ironic, since he’s lived on welfare since his late teens—by choice—not circumstance
His only brief attempt at independence as a teenager ended after only a few months of free-loading on a musician friend. When that failed, he faked a mental breakdown to obtain a disability pension. He was quite proud of this accomplishment
But, sadly, that has been his only achievement. 25 years later he still depends on welfare, shuffling accommodations from exasperated relative to relative, exhausting all friendships, until no one will take him in or support his lifestyle except his widowed father. He’s never been married—never even had a relationship or lasting friendship
Despite help, support, and resources from others throughout his life, DB adamantly refuses to become self-supporting. Now in his 40's, his world has shrunken into the 4 small walls of his bedroom in a home that isn’t his own, with his widowed father punished daily as his caretaker
He hates his life, hates himself, and sees that same negative judgment reflected back from others. Can’t even grasp why he feels trapped and alone, or how his prison is all of his own making and choices that evolved through his own low self image. He believes this is all he deserves
Yet, it is those who have loved him or who have tried to help and support him that have suffered most. Used without thanks, they have been punished when they refuse to continue to be used or burdened. They are frustrated and angry at the waste of a life and talents that could have had so much meaning and value to others if only this man had become his best self. More than half his life is gone and he has never developed the skills, experience, inner strength, or wisdom to survive on his own... For no other reason than shame and not believing in himself
Indeed, these are very extreme cases … But, they aptly illustrate how your low self esteem doesn’t just belong to YOU, it also affects and becomes a burden, challenge, and punishment to everyone in your life. Every one of your conversations, choices, decisions, and interactions are currently based on your own self perception and beliefs about whether you are deserving. Can you see the many small ways you might be sabotaging your own life, success, and happiness, and that of others, through your own negative self-perceptions?
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE who can do something about this. Right now. Not doing something about your damaged self esteem only continues to erode your self esteem, while harming or depriving others in the process
Healthy self esteem is the root of happiness. It leads to confidence, enthusiasm, commitment to your goals, accomplishment, success, healthy relationships, kindness and caring, healthy boundaries, and finding balance in your life, as well the confidence to engage in deep reciprocal love and commitment to others. Healthy self esteem spreads its beautiful light both inside of you, and everywhere you go. Isn’t that the life you desire and the legacy you want to leave?
At Enlightened Feelings, we know that healthy self esteem and self-acceptance is the key to happiness and accomplishment. Helping you feel good about yourself is the best way we can change the world in positive ways. That is why it is the goal in all we do
But, we also know that self esteem is closely aligned with your subjective personal values and perceptions and is therefore easily influenced by your daily interactions with others and how those interactions affect you. That’s why self esteem requires ongoing maintenance. And we’re here to help you with that, too!
Maybe it is time for you to address your self esteem so you can improve any aspect of your life and relationships that fall short. There is no better time than the upcoming ‘Leo season’ in July and August! We have dozens of amazing empowering formulas to help you create the positive shift you want
Click here to start your journey to healthy self-esteem